A Word of Encouragement for Parents

Most parents know that there are moments in life where you wonder if you are going to survive the season that your children are going through.  It may be your child’s crying in the night, teething, hospital visit, puberty, relationships, grades, scary phone calls after midnight, visits from a police officer, or breaking up the fights between sibling where you wonder if they will kill each other!  As children get older, some of those challenges seem to get more intense.  However, there are times where you look at your kids in absolute awe of what God has done.  

Last week was a highlight moment for me as a parent. I hung out with Joey -my oldest child- on the campus of the college he attends.  He has connected with great friends and he has a heart for God.  I left campus with Joey and then the whole family drove to Richmond, Virginia for, my daughter, Maddie’s graduation from Youth With a Mission.  Over the next 48 hours, I watched my four kids laugh, hug, converse, and celebrate each other’s lives.  We even rode in the good old family mini-van without an argument over who sits where!  That may be the first time that has EVER happened.

I want to encourage all parents to find joy in the journey.  Also, REMEMBER that the battles you fight with, and for, your kids right now will bear fruit in the long run.  Every confrontation you have with your child now can protect and preserve them for something better in the future.  I wasn’t so sure of this even one year ago. This year, my kids thanked me for keeping them out of some messes they wanted to get into.  As long as the motive is love and not control for what you want for their lives (I had to fight that battle within myself) your children will grow and eventually realize that you loved them and weren’t crazy after all.

Appreciate your past but don't get stuck there.

Last night I was struggling with a bad case of nostalgia.  Joey had to go back to college, Maddie is in Africa, and I was missing my mom who passed away two years ago. Plus, living in Florida, I was begrudging the fact that it was 80 degrees in January and not snowing.  I felt like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite, craving a time machine to go back and relive the past.  However, with no time machine in my possession, I did the next best thing.  I pulled out some old home movies and watched them with Sophia and Dominic. 

It’s funny, seeing how things were brings a heavy dose of reality. For example, every snowy winter would bring the kids at least two bouts with the flu.  I listened to an old sermon I had preached. I was ready to crawl under a rock. I think I preached a two-hour message in about 25 minutes.  After15 years, I have learned to pace my speaking.  

I even watched my wedding video. It showed how far Gina and I have come.  Our wedding AND reception cost about $500.  That included a gym with wooden chairs, a cassette player that played a friend’s mix tape, a chocolate fountain that had homemade punch flowing out of it and a friend shooting our wedding pictures and video.  My tech-savvy son was horrified by the video work and editing.  He didn’t think the video was even 5 pixels.

Here is what I came to grips with:

1-    I have been blessed with great family and friends.

2-    It’s alright to peak in the rear view mirror every once in a while, but there is still a lot going on out of my front windshield.  Don’t get stuck in the past.

3-    Appreciate the lessons learned back then, apply them now, and enjoy the fruit of lessons learned.

4-    Things weren’t as great as I remember them.  Every phase of life brings its challenges.

5-    Palm trees in January isn’t necessarily be a bad thing.