The Hidden Benefit of Hopelessness and Necessary Endings

I am currently reading a book entitled “Necessary Endings” by Dr. Henry Cloud.  The premise of his book is that life operates in seasons. One must learn to clarify what season we are currently in and what events; roles, relationships, tasks, etc…need to come to a necessary ending.    

One unique idea from this book is in finding the blessing of feeling hopeless.  That can be a great warning sign that something needs to change or end.  I’ve always been the guy with the idea that “where there’s a will, there’s a way.”  The problem is that sometimes we continue to prop something up that is dying or else needs to die.  I’m still not in favor of quitting.  However, I am now trying to be more alert to the season of the event I’m operating in.

In reflecting on this, I can look at different ministry roles/ jobs I have had and known when it was time for a necessary ending and a new start.  Sometimes I embraced it and made the move quickly while at other times I fought to try and make things work.  Usually, I regretted dragging it out. 

There have also been times where wholesale changes were not necessary.  It was just a matter of ending a task or practice.  It made all of the difference and “restored hope”. 

In raising kids, I have watched as they have grown and my role as a dad has changed.  When news seasons began in their lives, They needed me to operate differently than I had in their child hood or adolescent years.  The trick with this one is to listen to their relational wants verses what they really need.  (Everyone who has raised teenagers knows exactly what I mean). 

Have you had a season in life where you knew things needed to change or even end?  

Divergent: By the Book

My 14 year old son LOVES the Divergent book series.  He is not an avid reader but he flew through all three books of the series.  He couldn’t wait to tell us about everything he was reading and, as a parent, I loved that he was reading a book that he said contained no sex or cursing and yet completely kept him enthralled! 

Last Friday night we decided to take Sophia and Dominic to the movie.  We wanted to make it a family event and enjoy the “bonding time”.  As the movie was starting, Dominic could hardly sit still.  He was so excited to tell me who each person was, who was awesome and who he hated.  The problem is that the further into the story the movie got, the more agitated he became.  All of a sudden, he was squirming in his seat and completely ticked. 

“This is nothing like the book!” 

“This didn’t even happen in the book!” 

“They don’t even have one of the most important people!” 

“The whole ending is wrong!” 

As the movie ended, we had to calm him down because he was completely irate!

I take this illustration to people looking at our Christian lives.  They hear about what’s in the book and what the author wrote, but they don’t see it in us (I put myself squarely in this camp).   We take what the author has written and make our own “movie” complete with “creative interpretation” and “rewrites” to make the movie more palatable for us than the book.  People eventually get tired of our movie and then want nothing to do with the book…or it’s author. 

The challenge becomes to live by the Book as the author intended and not become the producer of a short film (my life) with personal interpretation.  I hope and pray each of our lives remain true to the Author’s original intent and make others want to read the book.

I'm going to play football for the GREEN BAY PACKERS!!!!

I have been in Green Bay, Wisconsin for about a month now.  It has been an incredible experience!  Gina and I have felt at home within both our new church family and our community at large.  Sophia and Dominic are now busy finishing up the school year at De Pere Middle and High School.    Our stuff is slowly moving out of boxes and finding its way into their proper niches, corners, and closets. 

With the house duties and the move behind me, I can start focusing on my purpose for moving to Green Bay in the first place; to make a difference for God.  As I look at what truly pulls this community together and what impacts the lives of the people here, I am left with only one option.

 I’m going to play football for the Green Bay Packers! 

I think that’s about the only way I can really get the city’s attention and make my mark around here!  It worked for Reggie White, Donald Driver, Aaron Rodgers, Jordy Nelson and some other followers of Christ.  It could probably work for me too!  I haven’t padded up since my senior year of high school but I’m sure I’ll catch on!  The Pack must have a need somewhere for a slow 44 year old with bad knees and arthritis in my hip.  My 40 time is a little iffy and I think I could finish the 100 yard dash…maybe! 

Obviously, this pipe dream isn’t going to happen.  The reality of the situation is I have to use the gifts I’ve been given and the season of life that I’m in to make the biggest difference in people’s lives that God has blessed me to cross paths with.   Life change happens best in relationships and people knowing you care (Although I don’t think they would mind if I single handedly brought home a Lombardi trophy!)

How about you?  If you can’t play for your area’s professional, college, or Recreation League All Star team, what can you do to make a difference and with whom?  Go be you, the best “you” you can be!

Delay of Game… When the offense, business, and life, feel like its taking to long!

Delay of game.  This is probably one of the most frustrating penalties in football.  There HAD to have been a plan and a play called.  What happened?  Did the defense show you something you weren’t expecting?  Was someone on the offense out of position or not in sync?  SNAP THE BALL ALREADY!!!

If you haven’t figured it out already, I’m not always the most patient person. I came home from work one day and was frustrated at the speed at which change was happening.  My daughter said to me “dad you’ve only been there for two days, give it a chance.”  I’ve started in a new role recently and, one month in, I’m ready for things to happen…now!

Running with the football analogy (it’s spring practice time!!) here are some things I’m realizing.

* The larger the project, the more likely that you will have to be patient for something to execute.  Everyone must be headed in the same direction.  It often feels like you’re always waiting on someone!  Making sure everyone knows the play is critical for execution.

* If you are new, give it a little time.  Sometimes the team is still figuring out your speed and cadence.  It seems like there is a group who will pick up the playbook pretty quick.  Others take time; others shouldn’t be in the huddle.

*  Sometimes you may be the only one seeing the play clock.  The execution of what needs to happen is eminent.  Get the teams attention and SNAP THE BALL!  If the environment is always this frantic, then something is majorly wrong with communication.  Give time to communicate and be ready to go at the line.  If you continually have to audible or can’t read the defense, something is wrong with your preparation.

Ok, I’ve run with the analogy, can you think of any to add?  

The Burden of Vision

Over the years I have read books on the Power of Vision, The Visionary Leader, Visioneering, Vision Burst, etc… but never have I read a book about the burden of vision. 

I recently moved into my first Senior Pastor role in Green Bay Wisconsin (yes, the land of cheese, Brats and the Packers).  I have been in lead roles in ministry, sports, and community events before but never have I felt the burden of vision and leadership like this.  There are a lot of fun aspects of vision (planning, seeing things happen, blazing the trail, etc…).  There is also the harsh reality that God’s vision is not for our gratification but for the good, well being, and in some cases, the survival of others. 

I honestly believe God wants His church to positively impact the community around it in both practical and spiritual ways, and I believe we will see this happen.  But I drive through Green Bay and my heart breaks for the emptiness I see in so many people.  There is the obvious practical need of those walking, and sometimes living on the streets in freezing weather.  

I hear the news of a teenage death and I quickly think, “What can we do about this?  How can we help the family and be there for the friends of this student?  What can we do to see that this doesn’t happen again?  

I listen to stories of those looking for spiritual TRUTH and think “How do we get the message of Christ’s love to all of them?”  How can we reach out to those going through loss, pain, divorce, and in financial need?

I look at the incredible group of people in Spring Lake Church and want nothing but the best for them.  I want this church to have the best children’s ministries, the best adult ministries the best worship, and sermons that challenge and feed them.    

I know that the results of all of this do not rest on me but do require me to be faithful to the vision God has placed in my heart and the heart of the church.  I also do believe that God has prepared me for what he has in store for me in this season of life and responsibility.  I find my strength and source in Christ and lean on the fact that He will order my steps.  He is the one who changes lives and will bring about the change Green Bay needs.  I am just humbled and honored to be a vessel he chooses to use in this awesome city.  Spring Lake loves Green Bay!  

Remembering the big picture, even in the small details

So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all, starting with the people closest to us in the community of faith.

 Galatians 6:9 (The Message)

Our church just finished our annual Christmas Blessing for those who are in a bind this holiday season.  I am the person who administrates and coordinates this event for around 50 families (or about 200 kids).  If you know me, the words “administrate” and “coordinate” are pretty much never mentioned as being in my skill set.  Many times, I must admit, I lost site of the “why we do this” because I was buried in some very daunting and unwanted details. 

As families came this weekend to pick up presents, I once again remembered the purpose of this ministry.  People where incredibly grateful.  There where plenty of tears, hugs, and words of appreciation for everyone!  There were also those who showed remarkable love and integrity by forfeiting their gifts for those they knew needed it more.  Several even returned packages intended for others that they had accidentally picked. This was at the expense of extra gas and time on their behalf.  This Christmas season, may we not forget the love and compassion that Christ has extended to us, may we never get so buried in the minutiae of life that we don’t recognize opportunities to bless others, and may we not miss the bigger picture even in the smaller details.  

Be patient, God keeps his promises

There have been times in life when I really felt that God wanted to do something either with me, through me, or for me.  I have watched with anticipation for something to happen and for “my opportunity” to present itself!  Some of those events happened quickly but many times I found myself waiting and wondering if I missed it.  Upon closer reading of the Bible, along with some clarity by a friend and ministry partner, Jeanette Flynn, It becomes clear that the problem isn’t with God’s timing, it’s with my expectations.  God has his perfect timetable and, while we are the recipients of His promises, it’s not on our terms. 

Here are some examples…

From the time God tells Abram and Sarah they will have a child until they hold the baby in their arms is 16 years.

From the time Joseph dreams of his brothers bowing down to him until he stands in the palace and sees it happen is 22 years.

From the time that Noah is told to build the ark until the flooding begins is 120 years.

From the time God called Abraham to go and receive his inheritance promised for his people until the day they take possession of the land is 400 years!

Don’t get discouraged when things don’t happen right away.  God is still in control and he still fulfills HIS promises.