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Monday, April 21, 2014

The Hidden Benefit of Hopelessness and Necessary Endings


I am currently reading a book entitled “Necessary Endings” by Dr. Henry Cloud.  The premise of his book is that life operates in seasons. One must learn to clarify what season we are currently in and what events; roles, relationships, tasks, etc…need to come to a necessary ending.    
One unique idea from this book is in finding the blessing of feeling hopeless.  That can be a great warning sign that something needs to change or end.  I’ve always been the guy with the idea that “where there’s a will, there’s a way.”  The problem is that sometimes we continue to prop something up that is dying or else needs to die.  I’m still not in favor of quitting.  However, I am now trying to be more alert to the season of the event I’m operating in.
In reflecting on this, I can look at different ministry roles/ jobs I have had and known when it was time for a necessary ending and a new start.  Sometimes I embraced it and made the move quickly while at other times I fought to try and make things work.  Usually, I regretted dragging it out. 
There have also been times where wholesale changes were not necessary.  It was just a matter of ending a task or practice.  It made all of the difference and “restored hope”. 
In raising kids, I have watched as they have grown and my role as a dad has changed.  When news seasons began in their lives, They needed me to operate differently than I had in their child hood or adolescent years.  The trick with this one is to listen to their relational wants verses what they really need.  (Everyone who has raised teenagers knows exactly what I mean). 

Have you had a season in life where you knew things needed to change or even end?  

Monday, April 7, 2014

Divergent: By the Book


My 14 year old son LOVES the Divergent book series.  He is not an avid reader but he flew through all three books of the series.  He couldn’t wait to tell us about everything he was reading and, as a parent, I loved that he was reading a book that he said contained no sex or cursing and yet completely kept him enthralled! 
Last Friday night we decided to take Sophia and Dominic to the movie.  We wanted to make it a family event and enjoy the “bonding time”.  As the movie was starting, Dominic could hardly sit still.  He was so excited to tell me who each person was, who was awesome and who he hated.  The problem is that the further into the story the movie got, the more agitated he became.  All of a sudden, he was squirming in his seat and completely ticked. 
“This is nothing like the book!” 
“This didn’t even happen in the book!” 
“They don’t even have one of the most important people!” 
“The whole ending is wrong!” 
As the movie ended, we had to calm him down because he was completely irate!

I take this illustration to people looking at our Christian lives.  They hear about what’s in the book and what the author wrote, but they don’t see it in us (I put myself squarely in this camp).   We take what the author has written and make our own “movie” complete with “creative interpretation” and “rewrites” to make the movie more palatable for us than the book.  People eventually get tired of our movie and then want nothing to do with the book…or it’s author. 
The challenge becomes to live by the Book as the author intended and not become the producer of a short film (my life) with personal interpretation.  I hope and pray each of our lives remain true to the Author’s original intent and make others want to read the book.