What do I want to be remembered for?

I perform about 20 funerals every year.  Each has a unique flavor to it.  Some are very heavy and heartbreaking, such as a funeral I did for a 24 year old who was killed in a car accident.  For others, like a feisty 80-year-old Italian grandma, there are lots of laughs, hilarious stories and family hugs.  The mood of the funeral largely depends on the family, the personality of the deceased, and the circumstances behind the death.  There is also far more peace for those who know that their loved one is in Heaven. 

What stands out the most to me is that no matter what age or socio- economic status, people will remember you for three or four things. 

This got me thinking, what will I be remembered for?  My guess is:

1-    My love for my family.  (having some nerdy fun in the picture below)

2-    My service to God and ministry. 

3-    Being a die hard Hokie fan.  Wow.  Really?  Yep.  I would guess that’s what people will remember me for. 

The cool thing is that I can change it if I really want to.  There is still game time left on life’s clock. 

What about you?  What three or four things do you think you will be remembered for?  If you could change it, what would you want your life to have stood for?

Appreciate your past but don't get stuck there.

Last night I was struggling with a bad case of nostalgia.  Joey had to go back to college, Maddie is in Africa, and I was missing my mom who passed away two years ago. Plus, living in Florida, I was begrudging the fact that it was 80 degrees in January and not snowing.  I felt like Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite, craving a time machine to go back and relive the past.  However, with no time machine in my possession, I did the next best thing.  I pulled out some old home movies and watched them with Sophia and Dominic. 

It’s funny, seeing how things were brings a heavy dose of reality. For example, every snowy winter would bring the kids at least two bouts with the flu.  I listened to an old sermon I had preached. I was ready to crawl under a rock. I think I preached a two-hour message in about 25 minutes.  After15 years, I have learned to pace my speaking.  

I even watched my wedding video. It showed how far Gina and I have come.  Our wedding AND reception cost about $500.  That included a gym with wooden chairs, a cassette player that played a friend’s mix tape, a chocolate fountain that had homemade punch flowing out of it and a friend shooting our wedding pictures and video.  My tech-savvy son was horrified by the video work and editing.  He didn’t think the video was even 5 pixels.

Here is what I came to grips with:

1-    I have been blessed with great family and friends.

2-    It’s alright to peak in the rear view mirror every once in a while, but there is still a lot going on out of my front windshield.  Don’t get stuck in the past.

3-    Appreciate the lessons learned back then, apply them now, and enjoy the fruit of lessons learned.

4-    Things weren’t as great as I remember them.  Every phase of life brings its challenges.

5-    Palm trees in January isn’t necessarily be a bad thing.

Keeping life in proper perspective

Keeping life in balance


I truly believe God made us body, soul (mind, will and emotions), and spirit.  I also believe he expects us to steward all three areas of life well.  If we fall in love with any one of these three to the negligence of the others, we get out of whack.  For example...

We can absolutely fall in love with their bodies.  It can become our obsessive idol.  

We also can be run by the soul.  Our emotions or mental capabilities rule everything.  The problem is that our emotions can lead us all over the place based on such things as a lack of sleep, eating something bad, or seeing a dramatic movie.  Our minds need to be sharpened but we don't, and can’t know everything!  Nobody on this planet does or ever will.  We cannot disregard spiritual things because they seem, in the words of Dr. Spock; "rather illogical".

Finally, we can wrap ourselves in nothing but spiritual things.  When this is done at the abandonment of wisdom we can get flighty.  When we ignore our bodies, they begin breaking down. Illness and fatigue can limit what we can attempt for God.

A couple of years ago I began the practice of taking the first 10 to 21 days of each year and some time in August to fast, pray and make sure things are in line.  This is not an attempt to "try and please the gods to get what I want".  The goal is to take an inventory of what's going on in life and see what needs to go, what needs to change, and where am I just plain missing it.  The fast (usually fruit and vegetables, juices and unsweet or honey sweetened tea) is both physically and spiritually beneficial.  It cleans out the toxins from the body and forces me to see what I'm addicted to (I'm jonesing for some ribs and sweet tea right about now...and a donut!)  By pushing back the plate, I practice discipline I usually wouldn't.  It also focuses my prayer life (more on that in a minute).
  I also basically kill social media.  It does very little to build body, soul or spirit.  As a matter of fact, it can add to unneeded drama and distraction in life.  Not to worry, after the fast I will get back on to see who broke up, who is in a new relationship and catch up on all of the "LMS's" that I missed :). 
The free time allows me more time to pray for family, friends, my church, and what I need to be focusing on in the upcoming year.  

A GREAT resource is Elmer Towns book "Fasting for Spiritual Breakthrough".  It gives 8 biblical examples of fasts and reasons why these fasts occurred (getting wisdom, finances, breaking a bondage, spiritual insights, etc.  Can anyone else relate to needing any of these?).  I use it as a guide for prayer each day.  I also go into the fast with a reading plan in the Bible (either by topic or specific book or whatever I need or "feel led' to read) and many times another book on an area I feel I need to grow. 

It’s not always easy because work doesn’t stop and I still have all of my regular responsibilities.  I just know I will be better at home and work when I do this.  I also figure out that some of those responsibilities don’t need to be on my priority list right now.

Body. Soul. Spirit. 

How about you?  How do you put life back in priority when you know things are getting off kilter? 

Also, is there anything I can be praying for you about?  I promise I will pray and it will not become a sermon illustration.  :)

Thanks for reading and I welcome feedback!

Bowl Games, New Years, and Great Expectations

My Hokies were in town this past Friday for the Russell Athletic Bowl.   I got a great deal on four tickets for Gina the boys to join me.  (Sophia would view going to this game, or any game, as cruel and unusual punishment).   The Virginia Tech Hokies and the Rutgers Scarlet Knights!  I was ready for the GREATEST BOWL GAME OF THE YEAR!!

Honestly, the game was ugly. Rutgers took the lead 17 seconds into the game.  I’m glad our defense was good because we couldn’t run, pass, or block.  The entire first half would have had me pulling my hair out had I had any.  My expectations went from seeing the greatest bowl game of the season to trying to figure out how to fire our entire offensive staff DURING HALFTIME! 

We go into the third quarter and now, on top of an ugly game, it begins raining.  We are all wet, slightly cold, and losing by 10.  (Just a note here, Gina did not complain about the rain, the drunk guy who rubbed her head, the overpriced $12 hamburger with nothing on it, or sitting in the rain even when the game went to Overtime.  I’m gonna have to pay for this one later on in a major way).  After tying the game in the fourth quarter and taking the lead in overtime, I was on a total adrenaline rush. I was so jacked up; I would even let the drunk guy rub my head!  This ugly game came down to a 43-yard field goal attempt by Rutgers.  The kick was up and… NO GOOD!  Everyone was hugging and high fiving and, in my mind this game had become an instant Hokie classic.  Same pathetic offense through out, sitting in a driving rain, but all of a sudden, this was the greatest game ever!

Now, looking back on 2012.  I was so FIRED UP when 2012 began.  I started back to school, my kids were set for great things in their own academics, and my dad’s life seemed to have settled down after losing my mom.  Gina’s online store seemed ready for a big year, we were ready to make new hires and move forward at the church.  I was expecting really big things!  In short, the year flopped.  2012 was one of the roughest years I have ever had to endure.  In my family, in ministry, financially, everything was a challenge and it seemed like I was always on defense and never progressing offensively.  At the end of the year though, I look back and the final 5 weeks of the year seemed like “we won by a field goal”.  Two of my kids pulled 4.0’s in school.  I finished my degree.  Gina had to downgrade her store but it is opening other opportunities for her.  Dad retired after 45 years of ministry.  And Maddie is in Amsterdam preparing to head to Africa tomorrow and she is fired up for God.  I didn’t see any of this happening in July.  I was wondering how to just survive.  The secret seems to be in not quitting.  Press on even when the game of life does not meet our expectations at the moment.  As Matthew 6:34 in the Message paraphrase says, “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.” 

2013 has launched.  I have some big goals and big expectations.  My challenge is not to quit in the second quarter and remember the game is not over.  Some of it is stuff from 2012, some of it is working toward life goals I have, and some is just high expectations. 

Do you set goals for the year? 

How do you do it? 

Do you consider your expectations to be optimistic, realistic, or pessimistic? 

Any advice?